18 superhéroes más tontos e inútiles de todos los tiempos
Una de las mejores partes de los medios ficticios de los cómics son los superhéroes. Siempre fueron la principal fuente de contenido de cómics y, a lo largo de décadas, consiguieron algunos personajes sorprendentes e irremplazables en la cultura popular. Superman, Batman, Spider-Man y otros son superhéroes poderosos que crean discusiones diarias sobre quién es más fuerte y mejor. Por supuesto, en el océano de personajes geniales, algunos superhéroes son simplemente extraños, lo que nos hace preguntarnos quién pensó que estaban bien para publicarlos, o tal vez previeron el futuro y vieron esta lista en proceso.
Este artículo presenta nuestra selección de los 18 superhéroes más tontos e inútiles de todos los tiempos. Incluiremos cómics de Marvel y DC ya que son los más populares y explicaremos los antecedentes y poderes de cada personaje. Si estás interesado en este artículo, quédate con nosotros hasta el final del artículo.
18. Disparos (DC)
We start this list with the DC comics superhero, Gunfire. The first appearance of the character happened in Deathstroke comic series in 1993. Since then, he has been a regular character in the DC comics and appeared in a few notable comic book storylines, like Bloodlines, DC One Million, and more.
Why is he on this list? Well, Gunfire has a unique power – he can turn any object into a gun and shoot from it. This is outrageous even for DC comics, and Gunfire doesn’t have the weirdest and dumbest power on this list. Gunfire transforms objects into guns with the ability to agitate atoms within the object to discharge its molecular mass as concussive bullets.
That’s at least what his bio says. Moreover, Gunfire can turn round objects into hand grenades and fight his enemies – Deathstroke felt it on himself. Some would say that this power is anything but dumb and useless, but even his run in the comics is not that impressive.
17. Triathlon (Marvel)
To be completely honest, I knew of Triathlon only as a sport. However, the perks of researching topics like this make you learn about many things, and imagine my surprise that Marvel comics created a superhero called Triathlon.
What are his powers? Triathlon or 3-D Man has superhuman strength, speed, stamina, reflexes, healing factor, and Skrull vision with the help of his special goggles. Delroy Garret Jr. still thinks he gained his powers with the help of the Triune Understanding religion – he actually gained his powers with the mysterious object that enhanced his body.
The name Triathlon comes from Garret’s previous professional career as a professional athlete competing in Olympic Games, where he won three gold medals. The object enhanced Garret’s powers three times of a professional sprinter.
Garret is on this list because his origin story reminds me of the sprinter Ben Johnson and his professional career that was “stained” by the doping allegations and the loss of his Olympic Gold medal in 1988 – it seems weird and honestly, unnecessary to present this character in the comics. Well, for each of their own.
16. Wild Dog (DC)
Next, we have Wild Dog, a vigilante from the DC comics. Another athlete on this list, Jack Wheeler, went to college on a football scholarship. The injury forced him from the footballing team and made him a college dropout. The chain of bad luck followed poor Jack until he witnessed the murder of his love Claire Smith, who was actually the daughter of the Chicago mob boss.
Wheeler decides to fight crime in the Quad Cities, takes on the name Wild Dog, and acts as a vigilante in his city. His powers included handling firearms, hand-to-hand combat, mechanical engineering, and artistry. Pretty underwhelming, right?
In the end, Wild Dog can be relatable to some people, but DC didn’t use Wheeler’s purpose for anything besides being a normal man who suddenly becomes a vigilante. The last time Wild Dog appeared in the DC comics was in 2008, and that fact doesn’t surprise me at all.
15. Big Bertha (Marvel)
Ashley Crawford has an interesting set of skills that granted her the spot on this list. Also known by her superhero alias, Big Bertha, the mutant can alter her physical size and mass matter. She is huge in size and part of the Great Lake Avengers.
However, Big Bertha is a borderline offensive character in the comics. Her is not that much of a problem, but one comic book story where she vomited to be thin and sexy again, didn’t sit well with some of the Marvel fans. Her powers can sometimes be useful, but they are really dumb in most cases.
14. Rainbow Girl (DC)
The further we get with this list, the more bizarre superheroes showcase their “powers.” One of them is Rainbow Girl, whose powers are confusing despiting getting released in 1963. The character is from the 30th Century, and Dori Aandraison was actually included in notable DC comic book events – like Blackest Night. However, her powers that include a mysterious emotional spectrum resulting in unpredictable mood swings.
Her powers are mostly useless, and even the DC writer Geoff Johns admitted that he did not understand Rainbow Girl’s powers despite including her in the Blackest Night event. If that doesn’t say anything about Rainbow Girl’s glaring problem, then I don’t know what can.
13. Mr. Immortal (Marvel)
In the recent She-Hulk TV series, we saw Mr. Immortal and his powers – he cannot die. Craig Hollis first appeared in 1989 and has been a part of Great Lakes Avengers since their beginnings. Some group members already ended up on this list, and Mr. Immortal definitely belongs on this list.
Now, Mr. Immortal is a mutant who has great athletic abilities and is, as the name suggests, immortal, but his powers are mostly useless – some would even argue they are dumb. Mr. Immortal is in the same tier as Triathlon – he can be useful, but that rarely happens.
12. Friendly Fire (DC)
One of the most bizarre and dumbest superheroes DC produced is Friendly Fire. As the name suggests, the character can project energy onto other people but cannot hit the target. He mostly hits his allies during combat, and in one comic book issue, Friendly Fire decapitated his teammate.
Friendly Fire is one of the dumbest and most useless superheroes ever made, and his tenure in the DC comics was quite short – from 1997 to 2000.
11. NFL SuperPro (Marvel)
Well, if you thought DC had an odd character that was extremely dumb and useless, Marvel has a good candidate. NFL SuperPro, also known as Phil Grayfield, was part of the short-lived Marvel “superhero” comic book run, where Phil Grayfield became a football superhero after his career ended due to injury. That story seems familiar, doesn’t it? Well, Fabian Nicieza, also known as the creator of Deadpool, admitted that he created the character for free tickets to NFL games.
The comic book series is deemed as one of the worst in comic book history, and NFL SuperPro is mostly forgotten, except when it comes to these lists.
10. Arm-Fall-Off-Boy (DC)
When we are young, most children fantasize about the superhero powers and what they can do to become the characters from the comics. I was one of them, and as every girl wanted to be Storm, Jean Grey, or Wonder Woman, it never came to my mind that my powers would include taking off my limb and beating someone to a pulp.
Of course, DC had to overshadow Marvel with their unnecessary characters, and Arm-Fall-Off-Boy is definitely one of those characters. Of course, the strange superhero is part of the huge superhero group in the DC comics. The character is reimagined in the Post-Zero Hour continuity, and his name today is Splitter. The superhero is still an odd character.
9. Almighty Dollar (Marvel)
You thought you’d seen the last of the NFL SuperPro character – you’re mistaken. We present you with Almighty Dollar, also part of the NFL SuperPro comics. The character appeared in only one issue, but his bizarre power stayed with some Marvel comics fans.
J. Pennington Pennypacker can project one-cent coins from his wrist as high-impact projectiles. Now, this may seem to some people as useful, both for combat and money, but everyone forgot the character for a good reason – he was part of the comic that didn’t matter at all.
8. Booster Gold (DC)
This may be controversial for some fans since this character is looked on fondly, but Booster Gold’s next entry is on this list. Booster Gold is a certified goofball of the DC comics, and the character becomes good friends with Blue Beetle and the rest of the Justice League.
However, the character’s comic relief could not hide the superhero’s deficiency in power levels. Despite the discussions of Booster Gold being quite useless in the grand scheme of things (including his friend Blue Beetle), Booster Gold is gaining more respect from fans in recent years.
7. Leather Boy (Marvel)
One of the most bizarre superheroes on this list is Leather Boy. Great Lakes Avengers were always a great comic relief in the Marvel comics, and their impact was significant in some comic book issues. However, Leather Boy, the former group member, got kicked out of the team after his teammates realized he had no powers. The impersonator got really mad, especially when Squirrel Girl was recruited in Great Lakes Avengers.
Leather Boy killed Monkey Joe, Squirrel Girl’s companion, and Mr. Immortal; however, his name and personality come from the fact that Leather Boy is into bondage and S&M. That’s right, his whole look is based on the sadism and masochism during the sexual acts.
6. Color Kid (DC)
Another member of the Legion of Superheroes comes in the form of the Color Kid. DC’s entry on this list definitely deserves the spot since his powers are useless in most cases and, in the nicest way possible, dumb.
Color Kid has the power to change the color of an object at will. For most of his tenure in the DC comics, Color Kid spent doing the same useless thing but eventually managed to develop his powers as a concealing tool.
The only thing that is useless about Color Kid is that he has Legion Flight Ring in his possession. Unfortunately for him, so do the other members of the Legion of Superheroes.
5. Cypher (Marvel)
Despite being on this list, I would love to possess these Marvel mutant powers – Omnilingual Translation. Cypher knows every single language in the universe, including the alien ones, and he is mostly used as any group’s medium and translator. In combat, Cypher is absolutely useless, and the fans do not like his character, to say the least.
Even the writers of the Marvel comics said they got tons of fan letters suggesting that they kill the character – and they did. If that isn’t the best proof of Cypher being useless in the comics, then I don’t know what it is.
4. Mister America (DC)
One of the oldest superheroes ever, Mister America, was quite popular in the Golden Age of comics. Still, the character got overshadowed by the much more powerful characters of the DC universe. Mister America is a great detective and skilled combatant, but all versions of the character have the same problem – they are useless in most of the DCs comic book events.
He is the product of his time, and we cannot blame the character creators for developing and releasing this cool character out there, but realistically, he is just too weak and mostly useless in fights.
3. Hindsight Lad (Marvel)
No one likes people who always state the obvious, especially when something already happened. Well, Hindsight Lad is a menace, and his origins story confirms that. At first, a boring computer nerd with nothing productive in his life to do, Carlton LaFroyge finds out his neighbor Robbie Baldwin is secretly a member of the New Warrior group Speedball. After blackmailing Baldwin to reveal his secret identity, LeFroyge forcibly joins the New Warriors as a Hindsight Lad.
Of course, he doesn’t have any powers except stating the obvious. He was a comic relief in the comics, but also really annoying, which was his biggest feat, to be completely honest.
2. Stone Boy (DC)
Legion of Substitute Heroes from the future brings us another member on our list, and his name is Stone Boy. The character is a literal example of a prop, and boy, was he used in comical ways.
Stone Boy can transform into a stone-like form and stay static in one place while being in that state. That is his whole niche, which is why he belongs to this list. It is revealed that Stone Boy gained new power after a few years – he can now move while being in stone-state. Very useful, isn’t it?
1. Bailey Hoskins (Marvel)
Last but not least is Bailey Hoskins, a character from Marvel comics. The boy was a student at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Bailey seems like the typical mutant, but his power is useless and dumb simultaneously – he possesses the power of self-detonation. Bailey was the titular character in the X-Men: Worst X-Man Ever comic book storyline that first appeared in 2016.
El poder sugiere claramente cuando se usa, y Bailey se hará estallar y morirá. Ahora, el propio niño se consideraba inútil y corriente en la serie de cómics especial, y su historia, al final, fue bastante emotiva: se sacrificó para salvar a sus aliados. Se convirtió en el héroe que nunca pensó que podría ser. Bailey Hoskins murió como un héroe en el universo Tierra-TRN656, pero eso no quita el hecho de que sus poderes son suicidas e inútiles la mayor parte del tiempo. Pobre Bailey.
Dora es una ávida fanática de los deportes que comenzó a interesarse por la televisión y las películas mientras asistía a la Universidad de Osijek. Personajes, historias y cinematografía es algo que empezó a analizar muy intensamente, lo que la hizo respetar más el arte de la televisión y el cine.
